Being a likable person these days is more complicated than most people may realize. You probably consider yourself an articulate, caring, well-intended, nice, good-natured and attentive person. But have you truly taken toll of the characteristics and traits, which make us congenial and likable to others? Go down the list and be honest with your personal assessment of each quality.
1. Become a Good Listener: We’ve all been told to be good listeners, and assume that “listening” requires a response. But we never stop to think that the speaker may wish to talk without the benefit of outside commentary.
To be a good listener, you must stop thinking about your response and pay close attention to what the other person is saying. The moment you choose a response, you instinctively stop listening because you are now searching for the appropriate moment to insert your answer.
To be a good listener, you should avoid
2. Ask More Questions: People who ask questions are generally well liked. It’s human nature to be helpful, and we all have an abundant desire to share what we know. When someone appears to be in need of our help, we tend to like him or her more because we enjoy being the one who provides the answers.
3. Suspend Your Ego: Most of us are just itching to point out how we are right. When you suspend your ego it means putting personal needs, opinions, and sentiments aside. Ignore the urge to be right. Being too assertive doesn’t provide a good start to a relationship. When people hear things that are contrary to their own opinion, the rational part of their brain shuts down and they prepare to mentally fight or resist.
4. Your Time Should Be Free: A no-strings approach to helping others makes you likable. Think of a person you like, it’s probably someone who will help you with a computer glitch or willing to read through your business proposal at the last moment. Of course, those who help just to be liked always reveal their calculating and manipulative ways, so make sure you are being authentic.
5. Genuinely Care: How do you develop the personality trait of caring? This can be difficult, especially in today’s social media era where everyone is perilously close to being a narcissist. Caring is the act of temporarily setting aside your own interests in order to help others. You must consciously decide to care about someone else. When you do, and you are genuine about it, you’ll find that more people will like you. And you’ll like yourself a whole lot more to boot.
6. Go For The Laugh: It’s difficult to dislike someone who is cheerful and has a carefree attitude. Typically, well-liked people are those that can fill a room with laughter. This may not be in your nature, but make sure you are ready to see the humor in what other people find humorous. Be someone who can smile and laugh along with the crowd.
7. Lighten Up: This can be a difficult one for a lot of people, but it’s better to see the big picture. Extremely serious people are essentially selfish because they focus too much on their own personal issues. Highly likable people are those who can set aside their personal concerns and go with the flow, these people are seen as selfless.
8. Admit You’re Not Perfect: We all know how important it is to steer clear of the person that believes they know-it-all. Part of the reason is we know that person won’t ask for our help, and we like to be helpful. Most importantly, those who have all of the answers are usually striving to push their own agenda. In their self-important way, they exhibit a sense of pride that is not at all attractive.
9. Don’t Be Pushy: I went on a trip a few months ago and remember how my colleague told me he didn’t have extravagant tastes. What was he really saying with that statement? To begin with, he’s not selfish and won’t push his own preferences. He’ll eat at any restaurant and listen to virtually any kind of music. That makes him likable because he will adjust to almost any situation. Be careful not to overdo, as being too accommodating can make you look needy.
10. Admit Weakness: When you can admit to weaknesses it makes you more likable. People figure your weaknesses out anyway, so why try and hide them? Of course, it’s important not to act like a victim or share your problems with just anyone. At work, it’s okay to go into a meeting and lead with the challenges you’re facing. People are more likely to recommend a few solutions, come to your aid, or even pat you on the back.